I accidentally ran across a post on someone else's blog yesterday that talked about her experiences parenting a child with Spina Bifida. She talked about how much emphasis everyone puts on standing and walking and mobility and how frustrated she is with that. The gist of her post was that the ability to stand is not an indicator of quality of life. Not walking is not the same as failure. I get that. Totally agree with her 1000% on that point. I strive to make sure that both of my children understand that point.
The part that pissed me off (pardon my French) was that she chose to use as her battle cry the Shel Silverstein poem "Standing is Stupid" (which she admitted was not a great choice because it's about a kid who is lazy and not one who finds standing to be physically difficult). I have a few choice words for this blogger, starting with "How dare you?" Standing is not stupid. Standing is awesome. Just ask Nora and Addy.
To the extent that it isn't physically dangerous for her to do so, my goal is for Addy to have all of the same opportunities and experiences that her sister has and that includes standing and walking. Addy and Nora may do things differently from each other (and the rest of the world) and they may have different interests and strengths, but they will have the same opportunity to discover those strengths and interests for themselves. As long as Addy finds joy or benefits from doing things like standing, I will bend over backwards and turn my house up-side-down to encourage, facilitate, enable, and generally make it happen. And I will shamelessly celebrate with her when she does things like stand on her own. Same for Nora (though I don't anticipate needing to do things like install 8-foot-long parallel bars in my kitchen for Nora's benefit).
If it wasn't enough that each of them finds happiness in the simple act of standing all by herself, my daughters both find it to be a bit of a challenge right now and I think they really enjoy the achievement as much as the act of standing. Nora squeals with delight when she pulls up to stand. Addy always says, "Look at me standing/running/jumping/dancing!" Who am I to tell either of them that what gives them a sense of accomplishment is actually "stupid?" Moreover, who the hell is anyone else to tell them that?
If we live long enough, there will almost certainly come a day for each of us when standing will be impractical if not impossible. Addy will reach that point much earlier in her life than Nora will and I will almost certainly not live to see Nora get to that point. Does it mean that life will cease to be worth living once standing is no longer possible or practical? Nope, not even close. A very full life--full of meaning, full of joy, full of hope, full of delight--can and will be had without standing and I plan to instill that lesson in both of my girls.
Until then, standing is far from stupid.
